The Fifth Joyful Mystery: The Finding in the Temple

The following is the eighteenth of twenty monthly reflections about the Mysteries of the Rosary as they relate to family life.  The mysteries will not be necessarily chronological but presented as they interact with the liturgical year.

            Summertime is when many families have a chance to go on a vacation.  And while these are meant to be relaxing excursions that facilitate some family bonding time, we probably all have tales of vacations that have gone awry.  These are the stories that are funny after the fact but in the moment cause a lot of stress.  I am sure each reader is bringing to mind a personal favorite, but many of us have a common story somewhere in our past: a lost child.  Though I could not fully understand a parent’s feeling of fear in such a moment until I became a father myself, losing a child is among the hardest things to experience while on a vacation.  My family still tells the story of when I was lost as a young boy at Santa’s Workshop in North Pole, Colorado.  I only vaguely recall walking around looking for my family, but I can tell you my parents remember it vividly! 
            Mary, of course, shares a similar experience in this month’s Rosary mystery, The Finding in the Temple.  As can sometimes happen when large groups get together, Joseph and Mary assume Jesus is with another caravan member on the return trek from Jerusalem following the Passover celebration.  Upon discovering he is missing, they quickly make their way back to Jerusalem.  They search for their son for three agonizing days until finally finding him in the Temple, curiously conversing with the religious leaders there.
            What happens next is quite interesting.  Mary, both relieved and frustrated with Jesus, questions him why he would do such a thing.  Jesus answers, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”  While it is tempting to dismiss this as a smart aleck remark from a pre-teen boy, there is something much more significant going on here.  Even though Jesus is many years away from embarking on his public ministry, we see that, in his human nature, Jesus is beginning to understand his mission.  While Mary and Joseph do not understand what he means at the time, it will later become apparent to them.
            This whole scene reminds me of a common exchange that happens throughout the development of a child.  Parents tend to want to hold on to children, to push pause on life and enjoy young children for as long as possible.  Children, on the other hand, are often eager to grow up, experience new freedoms, and make their mark on life.  This tension can produce some tears when milestones of graduations, moving to a new city, and making vocational commitments arise.
            When feeling this way as parents, I think it is important to remind ourselves of God’s plan for parenthood.  Children are gifts, given freely by God, and they come with tremendous responsibilities.  Not only do we need to care for their basic necessities, it is also our job to ensure they discover God’s plan for them and eventually help them to live forever in heaven.  Taking this long view, we realize that we do not own our children.  Rather, we shepherd and shape them for a time and then allow them to flourish in the ways God has planned.
            Naturally, this is easier said than done.  My wife and I constantly have older parents reminding us to cherish the time we have with our young family, and I am sure there will be emotional moments along the way where we will have to retreat to the comfort of home videos to relive these days.  Taking the example of Mary and Joseph, we can trust that our children are in God’s hands.  Even when we cannot understand everything that happens in life, we believe in a God who loves and cares for every single person unconditionally and who wants nothing more than to bring all of us home.