“But Deliver Us from Evil”

The following is the tenth of twelve monthly reflections about the phrases of the “Lord’s Prayer” and what they tell us about family life.

            As some of you may know, my son Nicholas has had some health issues in his young life.  My wife Stephanie and I have supported each other as best we can, but I would be lying if I did not admit it has been hard at times.  We are now to the point where we are working through most things pretty well, but as I reflect on the last year and a half in terms of what has been the hardest, I find myself thinking back to the first few days after he was born.  He came to us as our other two sons had, but something was markedly different this time.  Instead of the usual pace of doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, it was as if everything was in hyper drive for days on end.  The tests, doctors, and interruptions were abundant, and the unknowns loomed like an unwelcome visitor lodged with us in that hospital room.  Never before had I experienced such a strange combination of simultaneous joy and worry.  My wife performed admirably, doing all she could as a mother to maintain a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos.  I remember, at one point, it all becoming too much for me.  I needed to leave the room for a while and collect myself, and I will never forget the moments that transpired next.

            The grace of being in a Catholic hospital was not lost on me, and I decided to go to the chapel to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  I could not remember another time where I felt so overwhelmed without any clear direction of what to do next.  It was not so much that something was “wrong” with my son as I knew we would love him no matter his abilities or limitations.  Instead, I was incredibly frustrated that I did not know how to help him.  He was upstairs suffering, and I could do nothing to take it away.  That cut me to the core as a father.  The feeling of powerlessness washed over me in waves, and tears dripped down my face in a steady rhythm onto the chapel floor.  I prayed hard that day from a place of desperate need, pleading to God to deliver us from that dreadful uncertainty.

            Now, I would not go so far as to say my son’s ailments and our dealing with them were some kind of evil.  However, as I thought about our phase from the Lord’s Prayer this month, I wanted to consider our disposition when we truly ask God’s deliverance from evil, and the theme and feeling of utter powerlessness kept recurring to me.  The ordeal with Nicholas was an experience where I could most readily identify with that feeling.

            For some, evil still manifests itself in a very tangible way, such as in cases of demonic possession.  For most of us, evil occurs more subtly but still can leave us at a loss for words and actions.  What do we do in the face of acts or events we can barely fathom?  The attacks of September 11 come to mind as an event where so many of the world felt the confusion, sadness, and disbelief that accompanies such evil.  There are many other examples for us, sometimes very personal, sometimes in the midst of our families and those we love.  We live in a world where evil is real yet often ignored or denied.  The callous taking of life, the violations of human dignity, the estrangement within important relationships, and our sinful failures in the face of temptation are all too common.  We may find ourselves at a loss, not knowing what to do.

            This is the moment where the Lord’s Prayer becomes instructive.  When we do not know what our next step should be, prayer is always a good answer.  Even or especially from our desperate need, we must pray.  The irony is that these times can be the hardest moments to pray because of how God’s love can feel very distant.  Perseverance is key to this effort, and the memorized prayers that we perhaps derided as boring in our youthful immaturity may become the only words we can muster.  We must pray even if the words feel empty for a period of time.  Indeed, many great saints of heaven experienced the same.

            Evil’s intrusion into our lives presents us with a fundamental choice.  We can either give ourselves to hope or to despair.  The reason that we pray is because we are a people of hope.  We hope in something more, in God’s love despite our trials, in God’s power over all evil, and ultimately, in the resurrection to eternal life.  We pray for deliverance from evil to the Father who is the only one who has power to accomplish it.  We know by faith that our prayers will not go unanswered.