The Fifth Sorrowful Mystery: The Crucifixion of Our Lord

The following is the third of twenty monthly reflections about the Mysteries of the Rosary as they relate to family life.  The mysteries will not be necessarily chronological but presented as they interact with the liturgical year. 

            My maternal grandparents were blessed with twelve children in a Catholic farming family in western Kansas.  However, by the time I came along and got to know my mother’s parents and siblings, only seven children remained.  Over time, I came to know the stories of the deaths of my mother's siblings, including health complications during pregnancy, childbirth, and young adulthood as well as farming and automobile accidents.  The profound tragedies of these stories were, I admit, somewhat lost on a young boy who had never met any of the deceased family members.  When I think of them now, as a husband and a father, I can barely fathom the depth of the grief they contain.  Part of the reason, though, that I did not consider them to a greater extent as a youth must have been because my grandparents were not ruled by bitterness, gloom, or anything of the sort.  Instead, they were tremendous examples of steadfast faith, familial love and commitment, and lasting joy and hope even in the face of suffering.  I will be forever grateful for that example, and it came to mind when I pondered the crucifixion scene in this month’s rosary mystery. 

            The crucifixion of Jesus is ripe with almost endless themes, reflection points, and profound moments, but since our lens in these reflections is family life, I decided to examine the poignant moment of Jesus talking with his mother and the beloved disciple described in John 19:26-27.  Clinging to life, our Lord looks down and sees two members of his immediate and broader human families, the mother who sacrificed mightily to give birth to and raise him and the disciple who was faithful, even to what seemed to be the bitter end.  Acknowledging them, Jesus gives instruction that they are now to bond to each other as mother and son, and the disciple willingly obeys.  Mary stands there bravely loving her son as the sight of him pierces her heart beyond comprehension.  She is living every parent’s worst nightmare, having to watch her child suffer and die before her eyes.

            As painfully sad as this scene sometimes is, it also presents a ray of hope.  Even in our age of medical progress and innovation, parents still face what Mary did and bear the burden of witnessing a child’s death.  Mary provides a refuge for those in such a situation as she must have done each time my grandparents lost a child.  We are not only blessed to have a Savior who knew profoundly what it meant to be human, we also have a mother in Mary who has suffered the unimaginable and yet persevered.  She shows us what it means to cling to the wood of the cross, believing it its ultimate power to save our children and us from everlasting death.

            Some reading this essay may have experienced a similar tragedy with one of their own children, and many others pray they never do.  No matter what our situation, the interaction of Jesus, Mary, and John provides another lesson.  It shows us that, in the face of such a tragedy, it does not have to be biological ties only that dictate how we seek and offer help.  We are bound to each other as the family of the Body of Christ, and it is more than appropriate that we support each other whenever one of our members is in grief.  Whether it be bringing a timely meal, offering and attending funeral or subsequent memorial Masses, or passing along a kind note during the holidays or painful anniversaries of death, any gesture of charity can help to lighten the load even if for only a moment.  Most of all, praying for one another is not without effect, so a commitment to do so is a laudable goal.

            Ultimately, as I saw in the witness of my grandparents, we are a people of hope.  Even after enduring so much, they did not give into the temptation to despair because they knew from their faith that death is not the end of the story.  Christ leads us from death to eternal life, and while our tears may blur our vision from time to time, they never change the truth of the resurrection offered to us.  Like Mary, we have faith that we will endure the darkness to one day walk as children of everlasting light.